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感謝主賜新生命 符秀卿姊妹感恩見証分享(一)

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耶穌說;「我留下平安給你們,我將我的平安賜給你們。我所賜的不像世人所賜的,你們心裡不要憂愁,也不要膽怯。」(約翰福音十四:二十七)			
        我在中國海南島文昌一個小農村裡的一個貧窮家庭裡出生和長大,父母養育了四個女兒,一個兒子和一對龍鳳胎,共有七個子女。從我初懂事時開始的記憶中,父母都是忠厚老實,愛家庭和很疼愛子女的。雖然家境貧窮困苦,但父母慈愛,他們都愛人如己,是人人稱讚的好人。
	五十年代初剛解放不久,人民享受有限度自由的生活,記得爸爸會去海邊買一些新鮮魚回來烹熟後,便轉賣給村裡的人,賺來的錢可幫補少許生活費,在屋外種些瓜果蔬菜,家人兩餐一宿都溫飽。過新年的時候,每個小朋友都有一套新衫和一對有花的新木屐,覺得好開心!				但是在五○年代末期,當時的人民公社、大躍進、大煉鋼,又加上天然災害,是極大艱難困苦和缺乏糧食的時代,使到我的一對孿生弟妹,在約兩歲時,就一個接一個的離開這個世界,家人極之傷心和難過。
	在六、七歲時,因為我是長女,就開始幫忙做家務,洗衣服、燒飯、餵豬和餵雞等。稍長便要上山砍柴,到井旁挑水。因為生得矮小,不夠氣力挑水,肩上的水桶搖擺不定,回到家時,只剩下半桶水。如今想起這情境都覺得很可笑。
	六十年代初,是人民公社生產隊時代,村裡無論什麼都是屬於生產隊的。生產隊種植出來的瓜菜,收割後便要運到當地的市鎮售賣,出售得來的金錢都是全部歸於生產隊,任何人都不可以私自取用。去市鎮途中要經過一條水不是那麼深的小河,人可以騎在水牛身上或坐在車上,就可以過河到市鎮。此外,還有船隻載人過河。
	最難忘的是童年時,發生在我家最悲慘的一件事│有一天,生產隊長安排兩個人把收到的瓜菜運到市填售賣,因為有一個人臨時有事不能去,他就安排我的爸爸和他的堂弟一起去。那時,爸爸養了一隻水牛和管理一架木頭車,水牛和木頭車都是生產隊的。在第二天清早,爸爸就和叔叔一齊把瓜菜放好在木頭車上,水牛就拖著木頭車,兩人坐在車上一起出發。
	生產隊的瓜菜運到市上賣,送貨人員通常大約在下午二點半至三點半左右就可回到家。但是那天,天都黑了,到了晚上還不見爸爸回來,媽媽就去問叔叔,他只是吞吞吐吐地說我的爸爸已經掉下河裡去。媽媽和我們都極之驚慌,因為我們都知道爸爸不懂游泳。媽媽就立刻告訴隊長,隊長便馬上號召村裡和鄰村的男丁去找爸爸。叔叔不但沒有把這事報告隊長,也不出去救人,只是躲藏在家裡。晚上要航行船隻到遠處,是一件很勞苦的事。雖然如此,仍有很多熱心人幫忙,經過一晚勞苦的打撈,終於找到爸爸的屍體。這天,是我家最悲慘、最痛苦的一天。爸爸離世,只剩下孤兒寡婦,媽媽一個女人要獨力養育五個幼小兒女,真是極之艱難困苦。
	當時,村裡的人和其他人都有很多疑問,究竟他們兩人過河的時候發生了什麼事呢?經過長時間和多次對叔叔審查和追問,究竟我的爸爸是怎樣掉下河?賣瓜菜得來的錢在那裡?……等等。每次審訊,叔叔總是吞吞吐吐地說:「錢是在死者的口袋裡,已經掉下河裡去。」但在爸爸屍體的身上什麼東西都找不到。他又說:「錢或是掉下河被河水沖走……。」隊長和村民都不相信他的話。因為叔叔是一個會計員,村裡的人都知道爸爸是一個「愛人如己、樂意助人,忠厚老實的人」。後來,經過鍥而不捨地審查問話和批鬥後,叔叔才道出實情和認罪。
	原來當天他們賣完瓜菜後便一起回家,在回程過河時,叔叔便把爸爸推下河裡去。叔叔與爸爸從來都沒有發生過不愉快的事情,都是和睦相處,我們也不明白是什麼原因他要把爸爸推下河裡溺死,真是人心難測。他的辯稱是因為他有一個老母親和三個年幼的孩子,太太正待產,家庭負擔很重,沒有錢用,所以才做出謀財害命的事。
	其實當時大部分家庭都很貧窮,生活都很困難。叔叔為了生產隊賣瓜菜得來的一些金錢,就害了一條人命,讓我們失去了一個好爸爸,真是極悲慘痛苦的事情。雖然很多人慫恿我的媽媽去控告他,把他關進監牢裡。但是,媽媽看到他的家庭情況,說:「人死不能復生,我的丈夫已經死了,就算控告他,我心愛的人也不會再生還。」就不去告他,各自各生活。
	後來,叔叔的家庭轉變極大,嬸嬸產下的嬰兒幾天後便夭折了,不久嬸嬸也死了,剩下年老的母親和三個年幼的孩子。叔叔大受打擊,慢慢地就患了精神病,整天自言自語,有時會自己除掉身上的衣服四處裸走,病情日趨嚴重。村民就把他關在一個房間裏,不讓他自由出入和隨街亂走。叔叔天天困在房間裏面,生病也沒有錢就醫,全靠年老的母親照顧他的起居飲食,一直到他病死。不久,他年老的母親也死去,剩下三個年幼的孩子,生活也不好過,很是淒慘。人就是這樣,因一時貪念,喪盡天良,毀滅了自己一生和家庭,家人也被歧視。古人有云:「害人終害己,人在做,天在看。」真是難明白,世人是多麼愚昧無知。
	一年又一年過去,歲月陪我走過春夏秋冬,時光陪我走過花開花落,世事茫茫似流水,粗茶淡飯隨緣過。當時在農村,媽媽要養育我們五弟妹不是那麼容易,我排行最大,年紀小小便要做家務。我們都很孝順,妹妹和弟弟日漸長大,很懂事、又乖、又聽話,慢慢習慣單親的生活。媽媽也是一個忠厚老實,愛人如己,不易發怒,人人稱讚的賢德婦人。她常常教導我和弟妹做人做事的道理,不要與別人爭吵,有能力幫人就幫……等等。
	雖然我們家都很貧窮,但是媽媽對叔叔的孩子都很好,有時見到他們吃不飽,穿不暖,很可憐。媽媽就會叫他們過來,供應他們吃和用。我們就問她:「你為甚麼供應他們的吃和用?他們的壞爸爸,害死我們的爸爸,太可恨了!」媽媽就回答,說:「雖然你們的叔叔一時貪錢,埋沒良心,害死你們的爸爸。但是一人做事一人當,爸爸的死與他年幼的孩子無關,而且他們的爸爸和媽媽、祖母也都死了,孤苦無依,我們要有同情心,有能力便幫助他們吧。」媽媽是一個很有愛心的人,我永遠都記著她的教導。
	長大成人後,經過朋友的介紹,認識了我的丈夫。婚後,育有三個女兒和一個兒子,在生活上很多事情,我都盡力幫助媽媽和弟妹。因為先生的爸爸在香港,申請先生、我和子女在七十年代初來到香港。我們夫婦倆年輕力壯,兩手空空來到香港,雖然人生路不熟,語言不通,好不方便,對我來說,是一個天大的轉變,但是一家人都很開心。在香港生活無論怎樣辛苦都不及在大陸農村辛苦。初到香港,先生要做兩份工,我除了在家裡照顧孩子之外,也做些家庭手工業,去工廠領些絲花或其他工件來做,幫補家用,總之,日以繼夜地不停工作。
	那時,可能是年輕,沒有雜念,也不覺辛苦,一天的事過去就算了,不為明天憂慮,都很開心!我覺得每個人各有各經歷的辛苦,我很明白,不論初到一個任何陌生的地方,都是要捱得很辛苦,有兩餐溫飽便過得去。子女慢慢地長大,我就出去工作。
	在八十年代中至九十年代初的那段時間,中國大陸社會改革開放,極多人在大陸出來香港找工作做,而我們在香港就要不停地接待來訪的大陸親人。我的媽媽和三個妹妹和妹夫們、弟弟和弟婦和其他親戚朋友都先後來香港。(未完待續)
二○二二年一月廿二日

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