Friday, 04 November 2022 16:24

兒女是耶和華所賜的產業 方洪靜娜姊妹感恩分享

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上帝將兒女賜給我們,是要我們學習有智慧,見識,負起責任來好好經營。盼望孩子健康成長,成為合神心意的人,願神的旨意成就在我們身上,祂得完全的榮耀。
	感謝主賜給我們的婚姻,婚後我倆很恩愛,三個月後我懷孕了。老公當然很開心,但我心裏卻有負擔,因為還沒有想要孩子的心理準備。我是個追求完美,認真緊張型的人,覺得自己還不能承擔作母親的責任(其實已老大不小了)。可是才三個多月就流產了,記得那天下著雪,是一位朋友把我送到婦科醫生診所的。當老公從公司趕到診所時,我很歉意地向他說對不起,沒想到他竟哭了。嚇我一跳,我第一次見他哭,從而知道他真的很喜歡孩子。流產後我反覺得輕鬆,還很天真地想:“流掉就流掉吧,等我準備好再要孩子。”沒想到這一“等”,就花上兩年半時間。
	不久,我公公婆婆來美國。記得他們下飛機進家門時,我要去幫忙提行李,他們趕過來說:“這太重了,你不要提。”我想他們可能以為我有孕在身吧,可見他們盼望孫之心切。公婆在國內是拜偶像的,不同的信仰,初次與他們見面和相處,我好緊張。然而感謝主恩典,公公婆婆很疼愛我,把我當作女兒,令我放鬆。對著這麼可親可敬的公婆,我也把他們當作自己的爸爸媽媽。我開始給他們傳福音,給他們講我親身經歷的許多見證,我們的婚姻見證尤其感動他們。主日我們一同到教會,公公婆婆很喜歡聽道,才來美一個多月就信主了。主賜平安喜樂充滿他們的心,使他們卸掉多年以來的心裏負擔。主的愛充滿我們家,彼此相愛,相處其樂融融。公婆希望我們早日有孩子,也願意留下來幫忙,結果等不到孫子,住滿半年便決定回國。臨走時,婆婆拉著我的手,說:“放輕鬆,沒有孩子也不要緊,我兒子很愛你,重要是你們倆同心相愛。這次來看到你們這麼恩愛,我們很欣慰也放心。”婆婆的話,真讓我感動,實在感謝主賜給如此善解人意,通情達理的公婆。
	等待的日子可真不容易,經醫生檢查,我有子宮肌瘤,較難受孕且易流產。我們看日曆,算日子,記錄體溫,一個月又一個月的過去,伴隨的是一次又一次的失望,那滋味只有經歷過的人才能理解。每當聽到周遭親戚朋友懷孕了,我都有很大反應,因為太敏感和在意這件事了。我們接受親戚朋友和書上介紹的方法經驗,似乎都不管用。人力是盡了,不過我仍相信:生命是在乎神,祂有賜給我孩子的絕對主權。有朋友說:“你們倆太恩愛了,可能要在孩子的事上磨一磨。”也許是這樣吧,我願意相信順服神,等候祂的時間,雖然這功課不容易學。
	1998年10月份我爸爸媽媽順利通過簽證,第一次來美探親。長輩們來了,關心的仍是孩子的問題,主要是我的年紀不小了。感謝主,我們夫妻很同心,彼此勉勵,常一起禱告,相信神會賜給我們孩子的。事實上,神也是藉著各種環境來成全我們的祈求禱告。九九年三月份,我在國內的妹妹告訴我:“二姐,我懷孕了。你怎麼樣?我們很希望你也有孩子,這樣爸媽就可以申請延期留在美國幫你,我在國內請人幫忙容易。”我們姊妹感情很好,常常是互相顧讓的。很感謝家人的愛和支持,但如果我沒懷上,我也希望爸爸媽媽能回國幫妹妹。我們提出專心為此事禱告,看神如何帶領。
	真奇妙!神垂聽了我們的禱告,四月份我真的懷孕了(預產期是2000年的1月1日)。這時我爸爸媽媽的探親延期申請也批下來了,他們可以留下來再住半年,神真的恩待我,我真是太幸福了!我相信這是出於神,祂一定保守平安,整個懷孕過程我很放鬆。九九年十月份我爸爸媽媽居留期滿回國,同年十二月我公婆再次來紐約準備抱孫,也是來幫助照顧我們的。二○○○年一月四日早上我順利生下大兒子(8.38磅),取名方恩捷(恩典的捷報之意)。而我妹妹的女兒於一九九九年十一月十一日出生,比我兒子整整大七周。
	原先我怕有孩子,是因為怕責任大,可是大兒子出生後,當聽到他的哭聲時,想到以後他會孤單,就希望他有兄弟姊妹相伴,我們開始向主求再有一個孩子。兩年後神又賜給我們第二個兒子,預產期與大兒子的居然是同一天:是2002年一月一日。二○○二年一月七日早上我順產生下老二(8.95磅),取名方恩超(超出所求的恩典之意)。生老二時我爸爸媽媽能過來抱孫子和幫忙,完全是主的恩典!兩個兒子都沒在預產期那天準時報到,可能是外面大冬天太冷了,他們想在媽媽肚子裏多待幾天,一直以來,每年他們都可以一起過生日。他們倆很要好,凡事齊心協力。先生和我常會情不自禁地說:幸虧神又賜給我們老二。”
	“兒女是耶和華所賜的產業,所懷的胎,是祂所給的賞賜。”(詩篇127:3)在得兒子的事上,我們再次經歷到神更多恩典和人的渺小有限。經歷的過程雖不容易,卻讓我們得到許多寶貴經驗,更能理解體諒人,同情安慰人和注意別人的感受,也更懂得知足感恩和珍惜所擁有的。我們每個人不是天生就會作父母,每天我們都在學習與孩子一同成長。有了孩子後,不僅讓我們感受體驗為人父母的那份甜蜜喜悅,而且有很多磨練和學習。尤其兩個孩子都是過敏兒,真難帶,把我磨得“破皮”,在許多方面都不得不接受改變。然而相信神是充滿愛和智慧,為我們精心設計,給每人最合適,恰到好處的一份。祂將孩子賜給我們,是交在我們手上的產業,是要我們學習有智慧見識,負起責任來好好經營,且自身的生命在其中得以建造豐盛。盼望孩子健康成長,成為合神心意的人,願神的旨意成就在我們身上,祂得完全的榮耀!阿們。
 *****     *****     *****     *****
王建宣弟兄的「叮嚀」
請說聲我愛你
	五、六十年前日子很苦,嬰兒吃奶粉是很奢侈的一件事,大部分人都以米湯餵食。病人生病,腸胃不適,亦是以喝米湯治療。其實,米湯是既營養又便宜的東西,可謂價廉物美,只是現在收入高了,人們反而常常忽視它的存在。
	在我們日常的人際關係裏,尤其是夫妻間的婚姻生活,如果能夠不時灌點價廉物美的米湯,適時說出心中的愛,夫妻感情定會增益不少。
	中國夫妻不像西方人,經常將蜜糖(Honey),親愛的(Darling)等詞掛在嘴上,或我愛妳說個沒完。總認為夫妻就是夫妻,還需要來這套西式肉麻兮兮的玩意嗎?
	其實人就是人,大家都喜歡別人說幾句甜美的話,灌點迷湯,夫妻之間尤有需要。不相信今天回去對另一半說句:「我愛你」,看看有何反應,保證價廉物美。
	有些男人比較刻板,很少對太太灌米湯,一輩子也沒說過幾句「我愛你」。雖然深愛著太太,仍然說不出「我愛妳」,真是有「愛你在心口難開」的現象。
	但這是不對的,夫妻之間不應有愛你在心口難開的問題存在,既然愛對方,就應該勇敢的說出來。說出來的方式,可以用言語,也可以用卡片及小禮物等各種形式來表達。生日、結婚紀念日、聖誕節等都是表達愛、灌米湯的好日子,切莫放過。
	愛的溫暖雖然威力無窮,但是愛如果只是放在心裡,不肯表達出來,愛的偉大力量仍難顯現。讓我們來放棄中國人的矜持,大聲的說出「我愛你」。
	中國夫妻除了很少說我愛你之外,對於讚美或感謝對方的話,我們也是十分吝嗇的,認為夫妻之間何必還要這麼客套?夫妻之間互相扶持是應該的,何須致謝,要致謝不是見外了嗎?對方做的好,內心讚賞就可以了。說出來,不是有自己誇自己的嫌疑嗎?因為老婆是自己的,丈夫也不是別人的。
	其實這是錯誤的認知,夫妻是兩個人,不是一個人。既然是兩個人,就會在意對方的感受。如果將讚美或感謝的感受說出來,即使是親如夫妻者,仍然十分受用。有時受用的程度,更甚於外人的稱謝或讚美。因為太太或老公只有一個,為人夫或妻者慎勿疏忽此舉。
 
 

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