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投靠主者乃為有福 林榮臻弟兄得救蒙恩見証分享(二)

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「耶和華啊,我舌頭上的話,你沒有一句不知道的。你在我前後環繞我,按手在我身上。這樣的知識奇妙,是我不能測的;至高,是我不能及的。」(詩篇一三九:四至六)	
        在生病的時候,無意中在枕頭下找回一張基督教佈道會的傳單,我沒有參加那個佈道會。但在病中,心中孤寂的感覺非常強烈,所以看見那張傳單,就好想去教會認識些新朋友。	
	有一個週日,我找到那個教會,站在門口時,突然又不想進去。過了一會,鼓起勇氣打開門,剛好有一位弟兄站在門口。他的眼神充滿友善,當我不知所措的時候,他很友善地說:「來,跟我們一起吧!」聽了這一句話,我就很自然地跟著他進去一起參加崇拜。當天教會內的氣氛很平靜,牧師講道有些沉悶,我很快便在聽道中睡著了,但牧師的一句說話,讓我的心裡立刻明亮起來。他說:「我們天父的愛是相當真實,並且喜歡和願意被人找到的,只要人們願意,祂一定讓他們尋見。因為天父時時刻刻期待著我們認識祂,並接受祂的愛。」當時,我就立刻挑戰祂,心裡想:「神啊!如果你是真的,就讓我找到你吧!」	
	聚會之後,決定不會再到這間教會。但很奇妙,教會的一位女士常常打電話來問候我和關懷我,她說:「為什麼上個星期不見你,希望你來參加我們的團契聚會。」我被她的熱誠打動了。又有一次偶然的機會,我在唐人街孔子大廈發現了一間書局,竟然售賣中文聖經。不知何故?我竟然買了一本聖經,並從《路加福音》開始閱讀。因為從小我便在基督教小學和中學長大,記得老師只教導四福音書和十誡。我看到《路加福音》裡有關耶穌的經歷,被自己的門徒出賣、否認和棄絕。到第二十三章,當讀到耶穌在十字架上最痛苦的時候,為釘衪十字架的人祈禱的那一刻,我的淚水不禁地流下來。想起童年時的遭遇、被母親遺棄和她的自殺……。	
	在一個沒有愛的破碎家庭長大,常常給人欺淩,實在太多的怨恨,壓得我非常辛苦,很想得到主耶穌的愛,不知怎麼就自然地開始祈求主耶穌進入我的生命,赦免我的罪和除去內心積壓已久的怨恨。我願意承認自己是一個罪人,希望得到神的愛。就這樣,我獨自一個人,在土庫的房間中,決志信耶穌。祈禱過後,很奇妙,內心突然輕鬆了很多,還多了一份平安。雖然外在的環境沒有改變,我依然要努力工作謀生,依然面對歧視,但心中多了一份說不出的喜樂,好像一個重壓在心頭多年的大石頭被挪去了。	
	信主後第一次經歷天父的愛是在一次搶劫中。有一晚,快要下班回家,餐館老闆要我送最後一次外賣。途中,我被一個非洲裔黑人突襲,搶了我手中的食物,並用食物袋襲擊我的臉,把我推倒在地上不能爬起來,我的手在振動,眼花不能清楚視物。在地上躺了好一會兒之後,才能夠爬起來,但已經沒有力氣騎上腳踏車,只能慢慢地把腳踏車推回餐館。	
	在路上遇到一位年老的白人,流著淚告訴我,他目睹整個搶劫過程,也很同情我的遭遇,他還把一些錢幣塞進我的褲袋。當時,只覺得神智開始模糊,沒有理會這位老人家,驚魂未定回到餐館。老闆看見我的面色很差,嚇了一跳,馬上通知經理。經理發現我的手腫漲了,提議送我到醫院。因為沒有身份,也沒有錢和醫療保險,所以我很惶恐不安,開始在心中不停地禱告、呼叫,說:「天父幫我吧!」非常奇妙,我以為老闆會即時要我離開,但他卻吩咐經理帶著公司的醫療保險和我一起去醫院,我很驚訝老闆竟然會為一個沒有身份的人提供幫助。到了醫院,醫生診斷我右手的骨頭折斷了。
	身在異國他鄉發生這種事,內心非常害怕徬徨,不知道如何生活下去?不停地向天父呼求。當醫生說要幫我做手術的時候,非常害怕,我一生人從未做過手術,原來他所謂的手術,沒有用任何藥物,只是給我一塊毛巾用口咬著,然後綁著我的手,用力地拉開,使我痛到不停地流淚,心中不停地呼喊,求天父幫助。不知過了多久,這個所謂的手術,卻非常成功。	
	那位醫生也相當幽默,當他再給我照X光的時候,特意地把照片給眾人和在場的護士看。雖然我當時的英文不好,但是我卻聽懂醫生說的一句話:「Miracle(神跡),是我出道以來做得最好的一次手術。」護士也為我歡呼。第二天早晨,更奇妙地,餐館老闆竟然破天荒地讓我在家休養和發工資給我。實在感謝天父的的奇妙作為,能讓我在這一次不幸的意外中,經歷神的愛和奇妙安排,遇到那位善良的老人家、我的老闆和醫生。		當教會的弟兄姐妹得知我的事故之後,幾乎每天都派人來照顧我,其中一位姐妹後來更成為了我的妻子。在我的愛情故事中,也經歷到神的奇妙作為,那位姐妹的爸爸就是我第一次到教會,講道相當沉悶的牧師,他竟然成為了我的外父,就是因為他的講道,我才開始尋求神,生命才得到逆轉。當我一無所有時,沒有身份、沒有學位、沒有工作、沒有家庭,完全不知道將來的道路是如何?在生活完全沒有任何的保障的境況下,我的女朋友—林郁靈,竟然願意嫁給我。		當籌備結婚時,女朋友在一間珠寶店看見一枚鑽戒,非常喜歡。但她明白我的處境,並安慰我有沒有結婚戒指並不重要。但天父很奇妙早已有安排,我收到一張支票,是遇劫因工受傷的賠償,而支票的數額剛好是那枚鑽戒的價格。我流著淚,打電話告訴女朋友這個喜訊。	
	我真實地明白神的愛,是我第一次做爸爸的經歷。當太太懷孕要到醫院做例行檢查,我們在小小的銀幕上,看到太太腹中胎兒的時候,不禁感歎生命的奇妙。第一次看著還未出生的兒子時,他不知道我的存在,也看不見我,但我已經看得見他,並預備好迎接他的到來,給他起了中文名字。當我第一次當爸爸的時候,才明白到天父的愛和真正明白到父親的愛。	
	原來「我的肺腑是你所造的,我在母腹中,你已覆庇我。我要稱謝你,因我受造奇妙可畏;你的作為奇妙,這是我心深知道的。我在暗中受造,在地的深處被聯絡,那時我的形體並不向你隱藏。我未成形的體質,你的眼早已看見了;你所定的日子,我尚未度一日,你都寫在你的冊上了。」(詩篇一三九:十三至十五)那時,我才明白當我不認識神時,看不見祂的時候,衪已知道我;在我罵祂的時候祂正引導我來到衪的懷裡,祂的愛已為我預備了救贖。祂默默地看著我,期待著我的出生,期待著我回到祂的懷抱。	
	當我明白天父的愛後,開始理解我的爸爸。記得他曾提起,從小就沒有了爸爸,童年也不快樂,在政治動盪和戰亂中長大。我開始去瞭解爸爸的內心的掙紮,慢慢地明白他的心路歷程,並原諒了他。感謝神,後來爸爸也信主了。在爸爸患重病住院期間,神給我機會遇見了大伯父的一家,想不到內心對很久沒有見面的親人,有說不出的思念,不知不覺已放下了怨恨。	
	在教會生活中,雖然遇到很多問題、紛爭不和,但明白到天父對所有人的愛、忍耐、關懷和引導。在我的生命中,亦不斷地經歷天父對我無微不至的教導和管教,引導我對弟兄姊妹的愛,包容和體諒,加強我對天父感恩的心,這份愛只能在祂的懷中才能真正的感受到。感謝天父讓我瞭解到自己的爸爸,明白他的難處和不懂如何表達他對兒女的愛。	
	我當爸爸的時候,也不懂得如何表達對孩子的愛,只知道自己對兒女的愛是真實的。因為我的不完全,讓我明白到天父對我們的愛是完全的。在我們不完全的時候,祂的愛沒有保留,已為我們傾出。因著爸爸的去世,妹妹也認識了主耶穌,生命得到了改變,盼望人人都經歷天父的愛。(全文完)	
	二○二二年三月十九日

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    At this time it appears like Expredsion Enngine is the preferred blogging platfotm availlable
    right now. (from whaqt I've read) Is thaat what youu arre using
    oon yor blog?

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