Monday, 13 June 2022 13:37

神所愛的祂必管教 喜樂姊妹感恩見証分享

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願敬畏耶和華的說:「祂的慈愛永遠長存!」我在急難中求告耶和華,祂就應允我,把我安置在寬闊之地。有耶和華幫助我,我必不懼怕,人能把我怎麼樣呢?(詩篇一一八:四至六)	
	我的英文姓名是JOYCE YUE,在受洗之前,幾乎每週日都參加教會崇拜活動、教會團契和各種學習活動,我也積極追求主耶穌。我的生活方式也改變了很多,但是我的生命裡還有很多屬世界的追求,有眼目的情欲和今生的驕傲等。	
	為了能讓我的兒子在二○一八年九月進入一個好的初中上學,我便從二○一七年就開始在紐約長島幾個好的學區尋找房子。幾乎每個週末都去看房子,看房之前我也禱告,求神幫助我找到不錯的房子,也願意開放我的家庭做服事。當時,我並不明白神的心意,神也沒有阻止我。
	終於在二○一八年的七月份,我成功購買了二千七百尺的獨立屋,前後院子也特別大。於是,我開始買材料裝修,購置傢俱,精心佈置新居。每天要打掃室內衛生,冬天鏟雪,夏天除草、殺蟲,秋天掃落葉。可是住進去不到二年,屋頂開始漏水,我便要換屋頂。在三年間,花了很多精力處理房子的問題,即使我膝蓋做手術後,在休養期間,也沒有停止為房子勞碌。每天疲憊不堪,根本沒有因為住了大房子而快樂,甚至感覺自己好像是房子的奴隸,房子的活兒永遠做不完。	
	因為花了太多的精力在房子上,我就沒有拿出更多的時間親近神。雖然我也參加教會團契的各項活動,但我最清楚的,就是付給服事房子的時間,遠遠超過我親近神和事奉神的時間。內心非常不喜樂,對家人也沒有耐性,缺少寬容心和愛心。
	從二○二○年三月份疫情的緣故,教會在互聯網上聚會,待在家裡有更多的時間思考,我究竟為什麼而活?我設立的生活方式的意義在哪裡?自己累個半死,人也得罪,神也得罪,我是一個合神心意的人嗎?我還反覆檢測自己受洗後一年的靈命,感到自己做一個基督徒還沒有到位。在很多事情上我都按照自己的想法去做,沒有真正尋求主的心意。	
	而我的主耶穌基督卻像聖經《路加福音第十五章》裡的那個浪子的父親,祂給我自由意志,允許我做自己想要做的事。而任性的我,卻為自己的錯誤而付出了代價,白白地受了那麼多的苦,而神卻一直陪伴和帶領我。雖然在這個過程中,祂給我有很多次的管教,但在管教之後,我獲得的是更多的恩典—就是我的生命有了突破。因為「耶和華啊,你所管教,用律法所教訓的人是有福的!你使他在遭難的日子得享平安,惟有惡人陷在所挖的坑中。因為耶和華必不丟棄他的百姓,也不離棄他的產業。審判要轉向公義,心裡正直的必都隨從。」(詩篇九十四:十二至十五)神的靈使我明白,因為自己的欲望,我白白受了三年的苦。我們原本就是在地上搭帳篷的,住哪裡不重要,住多大面積也不那麼重要,最重要的是大部分時間都要親近神,神給我們的恩典是夠用的。	
	從二○二一年二月初,我下了決心把房子登上市場售賣。那時正是熱賣搶房時機,我的房子條件也好,但買家和仲介所出的價格,我並不滿意,很難立即出售。為了按我自己的滿意價格賣出去,在跟仲介的合約到期後,我就自己賣。我把房子開放任人參觀了無數次,還是沒有人要買。眼看到其他房源很快便都被搶購了,而我的房子就是不能賣出,每月要支付三仟元費用。
	因為疫情的緣故,我住在法拉盛,幾乎每天從長島到法拉盛,來回都塞車。精力幾乎被耗盡,精神狀態非常不好。我焦慮、灰心,再也折磨不起了。那種鬱悶狀態持續了一個月的時間,而那時,卻是我跟主最親近的時間。我每天迫切的禱告,在神面前認罪,承認自己愛慕世界多過愛主,求主赦免、憐憫我。我對主說:「我願意把生命中一切都交托給你。」事實上,神並沒有因為我的禱告,而立即讓我的房子賣出去,而是藉著祂的子民,把祂的愛傳遞給我,安撫我的心。
	祂藉著主內的弟兄姐妹們來幫助我渡過難關。終於,在同年八月中,神挑選了一個買主,而且出的價格就是我最滿意的價格。我為什麼說那是神做的工呢?因為這個買主沒有孩子要上學,而願意買好學區的房子。買主特別喜歡我的房子和傢俱,屋內所有的東西,她全都要,願意付錢,只想拎包入住。而我正愁傢俱沒地方放,扔掉又可惜。最後在十一月二日交易成功,房子順利過戶。兩方過戶律師都說,這是他們經歷時間最短,最簡單,最順利的一次交易。	
	透過我二○一八年買房,住進去三年又賣房的經歷,讓我學到了屬靈的功課:神允許我遭遇困難,祂一直陪伴我;我緊緊抓住主,當祂看到我真的認罪、悔改了,功課學到了,最後祂拯救我。我感恩,神管教我是為了愛,愛裡面沒有懼怕,我明白了,要因為愛神而順服,不是因為被管教而順服。我們要信主有奇妙的能力,改變我們的個性。最感恩的是被主改變,好處都在我身上,有平安喜樂。
	此外,神賜我亮光,讓我看到自己還有很多需要被改變的地方。我還需要操練新性情,有同理心,憐憫心,多理解身邊的人的感受和遭遇。讓那些需要被服事的人,願意打開心扉,跟我訴說她的需求,我便可以把主的愛傳播出去,使更多人得救贖,有蒙福的人生。求主繼續帶領我前方服事的道路。感謝主的恩典!榮耀頌讚歸於主!

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感謝神的預備和安排
        方淼衡姊妹感恩見證分享	
因為你們立志行事,都是神在你們心裡運行,為要成就祂的美意。(腓立比書二:十三)	
	我在香港出生和長大,在中學階段,有一個基督徒同學,帶我去教會,於一九八八年受洗。二○一二年結婚移居美國,這也是我人生一個最勇敢的決定。	
	未信主前,我是一個做事有計劃和謹慎的人,習慣有規律的生活,覺得這樣才有安全感,可以靠自己的能力,在自己控制下進行各樣的事情。若有多一些的改變或不依從原定的計劃而行,便會感到十分緊張和恐懼。
	信主後,我的改變並非一朝一夕的,而是漸漸地發覺無論有怎樣周詳的計劃,也不是能夠如願,我就開始學習信靠神。有一個在紐約的中學同學,介紹了一個主內的弟兄給我認識,但是我在香港,他卻遠在美國,我們之間有兩三年的情誼,只是通過電郵溝通。有一次他來香港探我,我們見面交往了兩天,他便回到紐約,我們便繼續以電郵聯絡。直至二○○九年,我的爸爸突然離世後,又有一個很要好的舊同學腦癌復發而離世,使我的人生有很大的衝擊,感到人生無常,不可以讓自己後悔。	
	本來覺得兩地戀是不切實際的,所以不想開始。因為懼怕失敗和沒有安全感。親人離世的兩件事情,改變了這個看法,覺得要勇敢地行出第一步,祈禱求神讓我明白祂的旨意。後來,我們由交往到結婚,一起見面所相處過的日子不足兩個月之後,我便放下香港的家人、工作和教會,一個人獨自來到美國這個陌生的地方。做如此冒險的事,絕對不會是以前的我,但那一刻就知道這是神的心意,我便專心信靠祂,成為「過埠新娘」移居美國。	
	感謝神!我們結婚後,一切的所有需要,包括金錢、工作、居住的地方和養育孩子等,神都有祂的美意作最好的預備和安排。雖然我常常都有軟弱的地方,但更相信神的恩典和祝福常與我們同在,平安喜樂地行走在主的道上。
二○二二年六月十一日
	

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