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Friday, 18 November 2022 16:23

苦難中的學習 張正氣牧師見證分享

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苦難是神所允許的,神是知道的。苦難是神要熬煉我們,使我們得到好處。神愛我們,祂必定搭救我們。
	經歷苦難,在苦難中學習,是有著重要而現實的意義的。如果說,一年以前我是通過聖經,從真理知識上作了一次學習的話,那麼,一年後,神就把我放在苦難中讓我再學習一次,好叫我真正明白:祂的話是何其真實可信!
    神把我放在苦難中熬煉,讓我得到了哪些好處呢?有四方面可以與大家分享:
	一、 在苦難中看到主的恩典
	從人的角度來說,我們本能地不喜歡苦難。所以,我們不會把苦難和恩典聯想到一起。但是很奇妙,當你身在苦難之中,或者經歷過苦難之後,你會改變看法的。因為恩典原本就在苦難之中,是你完全能夠真實感受得到的。
    第一件事情是:我一向堅持鍛鍊身體,自認為健康還不錯,朋友們也這樣看。2005年投入傳福音事奉以來,我沒有休假旅遊過。兩年前,因為女兒的孝心堅持而偶然安排的旅遊中,發現了我內在的危險——我的心臟主動脈擴張的直徑已達到5.25公分,與極限值6公分非常靠近了。如果要說這個發現是一個意外的話,它真是來得非常及時!			第二件事,因為需要看心臟科醫生,就從報紙廣告中隨意選了一位。沒有想到,這位醫生不但經驗豐富、有醫德、鼓勵我,而且還把紐約最好的外科醫生引薦給我。後來我才間接知道,醫生也是基督徒。
	第三件事:就是這位外科醫生我完全不認識,後來我的女兒和女婿從網路上查到,他是第一流的外科醫生,在紐約很著名的醫院主刀二十多年。他為我切除更換了心臟主動脈,更換了心臟二間瓣,手術非常成功。
	第四件事情:就是在我七十六歲時還能夠經受住開胸大手術,而且在兩個月之後就能夠再出來事奉神、服侍弟兄姐妹,也是超乎我所想所求的。還有一件事情絕不會忘記,當醫護人員把我推進手術室,家人都被擋在外面,我知道時間不多,心中默默祈求:“天父啊,你是我的磐石山寨,是我唯一的依靠了。你與我同在,雖然經歷死蔭幽谷我也不怕遭害。我的主,我的神,我把一切都交在你的手中了!”我的心完全平安!幾秒鍾以後,一切都不知道了。當我醒過來的時候,心中一片寧靜,我知道神已經帶領我平安地過來了!我再一次看到了主的恩典!
	二、 在痛苦中學習感恩
	著名的俄國詩人普希金說過:“只有失去了它,你才會深刻的感覺到它。”確實如此。在平時很多被我們忽略的,一旦失去了之後,才恍然明白它的重要。在病床上我才發現,平時完全沒有注意到的,似乎是最最普通的身體功能,竟然是那麼奇妙,那麼重要!
    手術後有兩件事情讓我非常苦惱,一是不能睡眠,二是沒有胃口。睡眠還可以靠藥品緩解一下,但沒有胃口就難辦了。這真是我有生以來從未體驗過的一大痛苦。醫生和家人
都告訴我,要好好吃飯,以便補充體力,才有利於傷口癒合
。我也很努力,但就是想吃而根本吃不下去,吃東西就惡心
,要吐出來,差不多持續了一個月。在那種情況下,就自然
而然的想到:原來“食慾”和“味覺”竟然是這樣的寶貴。
幾乎沒有想到那是神的創造、神的恩典。經歷過這一次的痛
苦之後,我才真正認同了有一位作者所說的話:“每一天醒
來,我都有一萬件事情要感謝神!”健康就是神的恩典,在
痛苦中我學習到感恩。
	三、 苦難對傳福音使命有啟示
	傳福音是主耶穌給我們的大使命。我獻身傳道,自然常常思考到怎樣才能更好地為主傳播福音。這次住院期間,因為自己的病痛、周遭的環境,而且又有時間,就自然的思想到一些問題。譬如,在醫院這個特定的環境裡,人們沒有職業、地位、種族等等,而只有“醫護”和“病患”的不同。那麼,在傳福音的禾場中呢?豈不是也沒有其他的區分,只有“傳揚福音的”和“等待被拯救的”不同嗎?醫護人員是以救死扶傷為己任,我們基督徒是以搶救靈魂為使命。醫護人員要完成任務,有兩個必要的前提:健康的身體和專業的技能。如果他們自己病病歪歪,或者沒有掌握技能,當然無法擔當起救死扶傷的責任。相對如果基督徒沒有健康的屬靈生命,自己還和世界若即若離,沒有分別為聖出來,他能去傳福音嗎?醫護人員是一個相互配合的團隊,有不同的分工。醫生承擔著重要的責任,但他不能包攬一切,還必須有其他的護理人員輔佐,否則就無法進行了。關於這一點,有兩件事給我印象很深。有一位黑人男護士負責為我洗澡。他非常認真負責,而且體貼病患的痛苦,讓我很感動。另外一件,是醫院的地板,總是被擦洗得非常乾淨明亮,走在上面很舒心、很放心。對剛剛做過大手術的病患來說,非同小可。因為醫生要求我們在走廊中儘量多走動,幫助傷口癒合。但如果一旦滑倒,那就不堪設想,所以,每當我走在那明亮又放心的地板上的時候,我都滿心感激那些負責清潔的員工們。他們也是醫療團隊中不可缺少的成員,他們的工作當然是有價值的。我們傳福音不也是一個分工不同,相互配合又彼此不可或缺的團隊嗎?如果每個人都自動自覺地肩負起應有責任,那該是一個多麼強而有力的美好團隊呀!於是,我自然的聯想起“恩惠團契”——我的第一個屬靈的大家庭。那是我得救之後生命成長的搖籃,是我不會忘記的美好團隊。因為老基督徒的言傳身教,就是在這個愛的團隊、愛的大家庭裡,我被感動了,生命被改變了,終於決志奉獻成為傳道人的。
    另外,在醫院的經歷讓我很清楚地看到,醫護人員如果僅僅滿足於有健康、有技能,那還稱不上是最好的。唯有那些心中對病患真誠關愛的,才是最好的。因為他們不僅讓病患得到了醫療服務,而且還得到了內心的撫慰和溫暖,這是更為寶貴的。同樣的道理,如果傳福音的人只是滿足於懂真理、有技巧,而缺少了對人真誠的愛,那就稱不上是美好的傳播者。因為我們所傳揚的,從本質上來說,是在傳揚神的愛,傳福音的絕對不能缺少了愛這個核心。
	四、 苦難讓人理解苦難中的人。
	生老病死是每一個人都必然要經歷的,然而,唯有親身經歷過,才能夠感悟到其中的真實。我過去也生過病,但如果和這一次相比,那就算不得什麼了。面對嚴重威脅到生命的疾病,我是怎麼想的呢?雖然信仰的真實讓我免除了恐懼,但心裡還是有些難過。作為人愛惜生命,乃是與生俱來的本能,我們不要苛求人在苦難中的軟弱,更不要因為有軟弱就指責他信仰有問題,這種指責是不對的。
    其次,人在巨大的苦難和病痛之中,一定會想一切辦法來擺脫困境。因此,焦慮、疑問、尋找出路是必然有的現象。何況我是七十六歲的人呢!為此,我詢問醫生,要兒女們從網路上調查了解。我們既然是神的兒女,自然會向神禱告,求神幫助。但不要說:什麼也不要想,什麼也不要做,只要禱告就好了。這種做法是不完全的,因為人有責任做該做的事。
    我實在要說,給我最大的幫助,還是我在想明白了一個真理之後:既然神是主宰,最終的決定權在衪。如果神要我留下來,衪就必然救治我;如果衪要我回天家,人豈能不順從,難道天家不美好嗎?我們當然應該相信,神一定是把最
好的給衪的兒女,所以無論那一條路都是福氣。想明白了這
一點之後,心裡就豁然開朗,滿心歡喜、滿心平安了。帶著
這樣的心情,就在開刀的前夕,我在病房裡寫了一首小詩,題目叫做“迎新”。用它來表達我滿懷信心,歡喜快樂去迎接神即將給我的生命新階段。
	迎  新
神與我同在  幽谷全不怕
萬事主安排  笑迎新彩霞    
	既然神明確地告訴我們:在世上有苦難,我們就應該正確認識苦難,隨時準備去面對。也許你今天就在苦難之中;得了病?失去了工作?家庭裡出了問題?……親愛的弟兄姐妹們,請記得神的教訓:苦難是神所允許的,神是知道的;苦難是神要熬煉我們,使我們得到好處;神愛我們,衪必定搭救我們。讓我們帶著這樣的信念,在苦難中看到神的恩典,在苦難中學習感恩。不要哀怨嘆息,而是要把它當做一次學習的機會,那我們就會得到更多的恩典和福氣了。
	願一切的榮耀歸於我們的神!
            
 

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